Superhero quandaries

Some things that bother me about our favorite caped crusaders:

Spider-Man swings all around the city on thick, sticky ropes of web. Who cleans it up? How many people arrive to work in the morning, only to find their windows covered with it?

Batman uses a lot of high-tech top-secret tools. He has a handheld gun that can fire a rope into a beam and lift him to the rafters of a warehouse, or the top of a skyscraper. He has batarangs that he throws all over the place, and never seems to retrieve. Is there a black market in found bat-items?

Superman, Spider-Man and other superheroes wear their costume under their street clothes, and at a moment’s notice they slip into a phone booth or a dark alley and transform in order to save the day. Don’t Peter Parker and Clark Kent carry a wallet with a driver’s license, credit cards and the like? Yet they have not been identified based on the contents of the pockets of their frequently abandoned clothes. How often do they have to buy new clothes?

How does Superman keep his hair so perfectly styled when he flies “faster than a speeding bullet”?

If Iceman is made of ice, how exactly does he move his limbs?

What is Destro’s head supposed to be made out of? If it’s metal, how does he make facial expressions and move his lips?

What are the odds that G.I. Joe and Cobra each recruited no more than and no less than one ninja? And that those two ninja happen to have a history?

Will the new line of Batman films ever introduce Robin? Let me go on record as saying I hope not.

What do you suppose Steve Jobs’ secret identity is?